Sexuality is all around us – in fashion, entertainment, lifestyle,
newspapers and magazines and so on. Perhaps it’s not surprising
that dysfunctions and conflicts can develop in this basic aspect of being human.
It
is important, in the first instance, to establish if the cause of any sexual problem is not physical. You are advised to consult your doctor first to eliminate any possible physical causes.
Thereafter, hypnoanalysis and other forms of hypnotherapy can be very effective at resolving problems.
Sexual relationaships serve several funtions other than reproduction, including bonding and stress release.
| The
more frequently experienced sexual problems which have a ‘mind
component’ are summarised below: |
Premature
Ejaculation
This
is a very common sexual problem in men, particularly those under
40 years old. It can occasionally occur with most men, commonly
because of over stimulation or anxiety about sexual performance.
It is broadly defined as when the man reaches orgasm in less than
two minutes from penetration, or penetration is not achieved before
orgasm. Surveys have shown that the average time for penetrative
sex is about six minutes.
If premature ejaculation occurs frequently, the cause may be psychological.
This condition may be triggered by fear, habit, guilt, or performance
anxiety. Also it can arise due to sexual inexperience, or when the
male is over stimulated typically in the early stages of a relationship.
Should
premature ejaculation occur frequently, this can create a sense
of failure and lower the man’s sexual confidence. A habit
has been formed.
Impotence
This
is also known as Male Erectile Disorder or Erectile
Dysfunction and is the most common male sexual disorder. It
is where a man finds difficulty in having an erection, or can’t
sustain an erection during sexual activity.
In
most cases, impotence is caused by psychological factors. A long-standing
problem may be linked to feelings of anxiety and guilt that originated
in childhood. Impotence may also be a symptom of severe depression.
Since
an erection is an involuntary response - influenced by the subconscious
mind and outside of conscious thought - the more a man tries to
will himself to have an erection the worse it becomes. What the
man expects to happen – what’s happened in the past,
be it success or failure will often repeat - will tend to consolidating
as a habit.
As
stated, impotence may be triggered by psychological factors or combined
psychological and physical factors. It might occur in some settings
only, or in all settings. It could occur only in response to specific,
or trigger point conditions. Frequently, it is associated with anxiety
and fear of failure and may be temporary or of lifelong duration.
In the minority of cases (about 10%) there will be a physical cause.
Orgasmic
Dysfunction
This
is the inability to achieve orgasm during sexual activity. It is
a very common condition (Anorgasmia) which is reported
more in women than men; even though they might actually enjoy sex
they sadly don’t reach a climax. This could be due to an inhibition
in sexual desire, or from an inability to become sufficiently aroused.
Each could be of psychological origin; including anxiety, deep-seated
guilt feelings, early sexual trauma or fear of ‘losing control’
during orgasm.
Also
anxiety about sexual performance may inhibit orgasm, which sets
a cycle of failure. Up to 50% of women will experience this on occasions.
Sometime a woman might have both anorgasmia and the added condition
of vaginismus (see below) to overcome.
Orgasm either does not occur at all or there is unusual delay.
With women it is often the case that orgasm does not occur under
certain situations, or with particular partners. However, orgasm might occur during sleep but never in waking hours. Orgasm may never happen in the presence of the partner. Orgasm can occur when the partner is there but only through oral
sex and not during penetrative intercourse. Habits can play a major part in consolidating this condition.
Vaginismus
This
is where the woman finds sex penetration painful, or even impossible,
due to involuntary muscular contractions surrounding the entrance
to the vagina. This occurs in women who fear that penetration will
be painful. Penetration is then not the pleasure it should be, since
the pelvic muscles have tightened and virtually closed the vagina
entrance.
Symptoms
include genital pain, loss of sex drive, lowered self-esteem, fear
of penetration, painful sex, anxiety and depression. A traumatic
experience may have initially created a cycle of anxiety for the
spasm to become established.
Vaginal Dryness
Vaginal dryness can cause painful sexual penetration, although normal lubrication will occur for most women. However, at certain times there can be less natural lubricant than desired. Lack of vaginal lubrication has several possible causes, including:
• trying to achieve penetration too fast, before normal vaginal lubrication occurs;
• feeling nervous or tense about the sexual experience;
• using a condom without the addition of a vaginal lubricant, such as K-Y Jelly;
• hormonal imbalances during the menopause, preceding menopause, or following childbirth.
Where dryness is due to anxiety, nervousness, or tension then hypnosis can help in making the sexual experience more relaxed and spontaneous.
Frigidity
(Hypoactive Sexual Desire disorder)
This
condition is a general loss of desire to experience sex, or inability
to become aroused during sexual intercourse, or even blocking out
thoughts on sexual matters. The term has in the past been used in
the female context, but this is now discouraged. Clearly, this condition
can potentially cause disharmony in a relationship.
Sexual
Aversion (Lack of Sexual Enjoyment)
Although
intercourse can occur, no pleasure is enjoyed or experienced from
sexual activity.
Dyspareunia
(painful intercourse)
This
can occur in both sexes. In women it is similar to Virginismus,
although the pain is not purely due to a lack of vaginal lubrication.
The pain can be superficial (around the external genitals) or deep
(within the pelvis). Any physical reasons for discomfort should
first be investigated. Beyond this, there is the possibility that
there is a psychological origin.
Nymphomania
(being over sexed)
In
contrast to the previous conditions, this is a psychosexual disorder
(of course, some people might not consider this to be a disorder!)
in which a woman is dominated by an insatiable appetite for sexual
activity with numerous different male partners.
The
term is usually used in describing women. Men may be seen as sex
objects. Either the individual finds sex to be very enjoyable in
itself, or sex is used specifically to reduce anxiety. Nymphomania
is thought to be an expression of some deep seated psychological
disorder. The equivalent behaviour in men is called satyriasis or Don Juanism. It is thought to be caused by selflove
or, conversely, feelings of inferiority.
Sexual
Inhibitions (barriers to sex)
There
are many physical and psychological reasons for a person to feel
inhibited about sexual matters. Low libido (low sex drive, loss
of sex drive, lack of interest in sex) can clearly cause disharmony
within most relationships.
Psychological
factors include depression, anxiety, severe stress, unsatisfactory
relationship with a sexual partner, grief, poor self image, feelings
of sex being unclean or wrong, fear of being sexually experimental,
guilt and shame, or a traumatic sexual experience such as rape or
incest. |
